Portal 2 - By Chell

Potatoes always smell of earth, even long after they have been washed. Planting wires in the tawny skin reminds her of her orchard — laughter and warm breath, with her hands all dirty from digging them up, and then the sweet taste of dad’s excellent cooking. She is having fun. Science and home are her two favourite things.

*

She does not think when the sirens start howling. She grabs the full vase she has brought along from her garden, and shoves it in. The battery has plenty of quiet time to take root.

*

The little water comes from a leak in a broken pipe. It falls with patience, drop after drop — while the gap widens over time, it still isn’t enough. The light is that of the emergency neons. Potatoes are the strongest, though.

*

Scientists in dirty lab coats visit once, dragging their feet, before they are caught and shoved back in the darkness. They seek shelter, maybe a little food and water, if that isn’t asking too much. But they last little; the leak widens in a small river, and the plant grows on alone.

*

One day, the stem touches the ceiling. It never stops getting stronger. The fight is stubborn on both parts, healthy plant against crumbling panels; inevitably, the metal skeleton inside becomes exposed in wider areas. It is not a victory, however, when the concrete finally gives out — it is part of a bigger explosion, a shiver to the very foundations of the facility.

*

The plant enjoys the silence that follows. It is left in peace to grow, without haste — it gives no signs of coming to a halt, not until another obstacle gets in the way. For miles, months, years, nothing is in the way anymore.

*

His claw is shaken by the overflow of power. He feels the new body expand at the fullest of its reach, looking for more playthings, for objects to toy with. He is exhilarated when he grabs something sturdy — that is a potato, yes, exactly what he needs to make her suffer. That is perfect. He wonders where the hell it came from, but it does not last long.

*

Crammed in that thing, she barely has any room to stay awake. Yet, in one of those few moments, she is hit by the same question.

*

She solves the mystery long after that, when a lazy security camera shows her that monstrosity. The last thing she wants is a gigantic source of potatoes — bait for beasts of all kind, be it rats, fat humans or murderous birds. She tries to dispose of it in any way. Surely her thirst for revenge will be enough.

*

Somewhere in the blue immensity of Aperture, several crushed Relaxation Vaults harbor the tangle of an enormous potato plant. The deep cuts in the stem are all that is left of numerous battles; much to her dismay, although cut successfully, it didn’t budge once.

But she knows better now, and lets it prosper. Against monsters of that kind, one just cannot win.