Oblivion - Of Secrets

It was time for the castle to sleep.

When another day of diplomacy came to an end, the walls seemed to set to rest with their inhabitants; they somehow lost their noble aura, falling, like titanic stone creatures, in the deepest slumber. Then, the rooms would drift in their usual nightly silence, enclosing the frustrated dreams of owners as bored as they were rich.

The sun was still in sight when the guards, spread all across the castle, started lighting fires on the watchtowers. They buzzed along the halls and stairs, sending the night watchmen to their posts and looking forward to their well-deserved rest. 

Eventually, in a handful of minutes, a single man was left on the bastions. He, too, was supposed to leave his post and make his way to the captain’s quarters; he lay his arms on the walls instead, watching a calm sun go down in the calmest of seas. 

There was nothing new in that sunset. All evenings were quiet in Anvil.

Hyeronimus Lex was not one to be easily unnerved. He was a man of action, and his delicate task could but strengthen his nature.

Admirable, and probably unique in the whole city guard, was his inclination towards never being bored. While most of his men dreamt of adventurous lives, out in the wide cyrodiilic planes, he walked quietly through his days – never wishing for new dangers, for opportunities to leave behind what he was accustomed to.

It was all very simple to him. He had shaped his life on the role he played in society; as long as he was able to fullfil his duties, he could rightfully be called a happy man.

That was why, in that beautiful evening, his eyes were dimmed by a gloomy shade. He was well aware of it, and glad that no one else could see him in that moment.

"Over there! Is it Captain Lex?"

He knew the voice calling out to him – it was a male voice, deep and soothing. Holding back a sigh, Hyeronimus turned to the hallway, nodded and got ready for yet another conversation.


It had been a long day. But guards can never be alone, especially when they most wish to.

"Good evening, Captain."

Corvus Umbranox looked as serene as ever. Although he had been reassigned to Anvil for quite a long time, Hyeronimus couldn’t remember ever seeing his face in any other way than smiling.

"I don’t want to be rude to you; just let me tell what I observe. You look — well, you do look a bit puzzled today. Is there anything wrong with your duties?"

Hyeronimus did not answer right away. He took his time by looking for the horizon, or the sea – wherever it would be, he chased a somewhere different from the Count’s eyes. It astonished him how easily he noticed things; he almost had a feeling, sometimes, that Corvus knew much more about him than he himself did about his new master.

Yet, thanks to his long training, he managed to hide his uneasiness.

"Not really, sir," Hyeronimus answered calmly. "If I may – it truly pleases me to be at your service." 

He felt Corvus’ light blue gaze pierce him, scanning his gestures and his words.

"You aren’t saying it just because I’m the Count, are you?"

"Why should I, sir?"

Corvus laughed heartily, but kindly, at the captain’s nervous glance. He did look happy enough, Lex thought. That is how a man must feel when he finds himself again.

“I’m just joking, my good man. If there is anything I have come to know about you in all these years, it is that you are a reliable person. I trust your words.”

Once again, Hyeronimus felt the strong temptation of asking him.

Where had he been wandering in all those lost years? What did he mean by trust him, since he himself had never seen him once before his arrival in Anvil?

He decided he would come to know, someday, somehow. At the time being, the only possibility was to carry on.

"I mean it, sir," he nodded. "Countess Milona is a fine lady, and a very strong woman as well. For one like me, sir, it is a great honour to be in charge of her safety."

Hyeronimus’ eyes looked distant and melancholic again.

"There is nothing wrong in who I am here," he remarked, turning to the Count. "Anvil is quiet and well kept, and I am perfectly fine that way. It is – it is what I left behind. That, sir, will not leave me be as long as I can breathe."

When he finally spoke again, although just a few words, Corvus had a crystalline note of understanding in his voice. For some reason, Hyeronimus felt him closer than ever. They seemed to share – or to have shared – a great misfortune, one that both of them found hard to let go.

"You mean you are not happy with your past? With – well, with something you have done?"

"It is not that, sir," he sighed. "Something I haven’t done – that sounds more like it. Or unfinished business; you may call it by that name.”

"It has something to do with the Gray Fox, doesn’t it? At least, dear Captain, this is my guess."

When he lifted his startled eyes again, Lex was even more shocked in finding Corvus’ expression. He had a hint of sadness on his face; something intimately linked to reminiscing, or thinking through a choice made long since past.

He could not see what was going through his mind – it only made him more uneasy, and still more eager to find the truth.

"Pardon me, sir," he began, after a long and dense silence. "I just need to hear it from you. How… how did you learn about me and him? What was – what was your life like back then?"

"You don’t want to know, trust me," he murmured. "When the gods are involved, their deals with mortals are to be left unspoken. As for yourself… well, everyone knew of your personal battle against the Gray Fox. It was more or less the talk of the town in the capital. So I’ve heard."

Hyeronimus looked down, thoroughly embarrassed.

"I, ehr – I had no idea it interested the civilians that much.”

Corvus smiled widely. 

"Fights against evil are always interesting. Or, maybe, it is the art of fighting itself. I have to admit, it does have its unique charm."

An unnatural silence fell between the two. Corvus was a very intelligent man; he had proved himself, all along, extremely capable of making the right choice at the right time.

Right then, the Count saw the chance coming – and he started pondering, in silence, the most effective words he could think of.

Hyeronimus Lex was obsessed, yes, and way more naïve than it seemed. That was why, that day, he chose to help him once and for all. 

The times of war had gone – and they both deserved it now, more than ever.

"But you must believe, Captain, that his opinion of you is much higher than you think. Answer now, Hyeronimus – do you trust your Count?"

It took him a while to figure what Corvus was talking about, and several more minutes to convince himself he wasn’t dreaming. He stepped forward, paler than the bright steel of his armour.

"Sir," he breathed. "Are you telling me – you met him?”

Although he knew how his swordsman was feeling, Corvus couldn’t help laughing a little.

"I met him, yes. Quite a likeable guy, if you ask me."

Right away, he showed himself as a bit more serious. He didn’t want Lex to have strong, maybe violent, reactions. He got to keep the situation under control; before the Captain had the time to voice his opinion, he raised his hands in a gesture to stop him, and spoke again.

"I know it sounds unbelievable to you, Captain. But I did, without a doubt – and if I am telling you my story now, this means I trust you. Is it your wish to hear it from me?"

The expression Corvus’ face wore in that moment could have been the face of honesty itself.

Beyond his shock, for the first time, Hyeronimus sensed some progress in store for him – a first, feeble ray of discovery, to cut through the long night the Gray Fox had always woven around him.

"It is, sir," he whispered. "I really am grateful for this. And, of course, I’ll hear whatever you want to tell me about him – about what, in these years, brought you together and apart."

As Corvus collected his thoughts, the first stars were being born on the sky. His eyes were darker and sadder, and Hyeronimus prepared himself for a long story. He could sense he was about to witness something rare – the only time, maybe, in which he would ever gain a clearer insight in his Count’s personality.

"I was wandering blindly when it happened. It was not far from here. You asked me what it was like, didn’t you? I cannot tell you more, but you must know this – I had lost my whole self, with all of my thoughts and memories. My soul wandered away from me, in unknown lands where the gods alone, probably, are allowed to tread.

"Still, as the Divines wanted them to, our paths crossed. It was just for a short while, to be honest; but I assure you, Captain, that his figure was the first thing to cut through my blind stare, and to make me move a new step into the light."

The Captain listened in awe. He could hardly believe his ears; yet new horizons were opening for him, for the first time in a whole life. 

"What brought us together, you say? Our nature, I suppose," Corvus sighed. "Two creatures in the darkness, already damned to Oblivion for sure, can’t help walking together when all they have around them is an expanse of nothingness. What we had found, after all, was precious – it was an identity, a true something which was different than ourselves. Or, if you wish, a soul to become our mirror, our paragon and companion. That was what happened to us both, in those few days.

"And, if you still want to know, there is more to it; for he taught me what might easily be the most important truth in life. He told me that it is not our being, but our efforts, that influence our image amongst the others – until we become that image. We have motives and purposes for everything we do; we never act for no reason. He spoke of motives, and told me to look for mine. That was the key to my future, and the end of my eternal prison. Thanks to him, I found it.”

"I’m glad you did, sir," Hyeronimus nodded, almost murmuring. "What was it that saved you?"

Before he spoke again, an entirely different shade had appeared on Corvus’ features. It was a mixture of relief and deep affection, something too great to express in words. 

"It was my love, Captain," he said, smiling. "I saw a spark of it through my dimmed memory, and I clung to it, not to drown in those black mists I was wrapped by. It was my anchor and my wings, until it brought me here. And I assure you, my friend – I found more determination in it than you will ever see in the strongest warriors of this land. The miracle is, I could not know what I would find at the end, nor if an end would even be there. I merely came out of it, through its strength."

Hyeronimus let out a long sigh.

"I truly admire you, sir," he said humbly. "I feel much better when I think that someone, in this Empire, still has such strength to rely on. It makes my hope brighter, not for me, but for the safety of this world. And, let me tell you something, Count."

"Go ahead, my friend. Go ahead."

"If all of this is true, I know what the Gray Fox meant by motives. I have found mine, too – and more than one. The tears in the eyes of men and women, the wounds, the torn robes they wore; the signs of the miserable, so unfairly deprived of what had meant the world to them. Assassins, thieves. I have always known they do not care about the damage they leave behind. I was born to remind them. At least, that is what I feel. Yet, I wish to know what brought him so far. What his motives are.”

Corvus reflected for a while before giving his answer. 

"I understand your wish, Captain Lex," he finally told him with an encouraging nod. "However, I fear, we may never come to learn his motives. And after all, remember this, my friend; not all mysteries can be solved, and very few questions can have a clear answer. Some secrets… some secrets were born to stay that way forever. Especially when the gods hold them close."

"He," Lex whispered, absent-mindedly, almost out of himself. "Is he cursed by the Nine?"

"I thought so back then," Corvus said. "I don’t know for sure, though."

The full moon threw a renewed light on them, and they knew it was time to part ways. To Hyeronimus’ eyes, the world had changed in that handful of minutes; to the Count it felt much lighter, and a good amount of the shadows that had haunted him for so long were gone.

His usual smile dawned on his lips, bringing him back the good mood he had the luck of enjoying every day.

"Who knows, Captain?" Corvus said, louder and more happily. "Someday you might meet him right here. In Anvil."

Seeing that the Count was joking again made Lex much more relieved. He chose, for once, to play the same game as him.

"You think he’d pass by?" he chuckled. "What for?"

"To say hello, maybe. Or else, I reckon it’s pretty obvious, my friend," Corvus answered, this time laughing openly. "To steal my most valuable treasure. Well – keep guarding my precious wife as you always did. I know you cannot fail."

Once again, his tone softened considerably with the last sentence. It sounded firmer, somewhat amused, but full of pride and truth. And even though Hyeronimus had learned a lot that night, he saw – now for sure – there was something in Corvus that he couldn’t put his finger on.

It all felt like they, on the Count’s part at least, had been knowing each other for a much longer time than a few months. 

After casting a pensive glance on the town he ruled, Corvus patted the Captain on his shoulder and turned away, still deep in thought. This left him bewildered, yet, deep down, very pleased, as a slight blush of contentment would have easily shown to anyone present.

Indeed, the Count appeared to be a cheerful person; yet, deep down, he was very reserved and authoritative, and generally not too close to his servants. It was only natural to believe, for a little while, that their whole long talk had been but a miracle.

For some moments, before finally walking away, Hyeronimus stared at the door that had just closed behind Corvus.

He still could not see how such person as the Count had been able, only if for a while, to get along so well with a criminal.

Hyeronimus had, by then, seen corruption, lies and violence everywhere. He had always done his best to destroy them; and every time it showed a power much greater than his, he had needed to wound his soul deeply, just to learn and live with it.

But a true feeling of alliance, of understanding, between the opposite sides of the world – at least, the world he had come to know – felt like another miracle to him.

In spite of it all, the certainty was starting to get through his ideas, slowly, step by step. Not everything could be sorted out. Not every mystery could show a beginning or an end; some things happened because they couldn’t exist otherwise, with no apparent explanation.

The ways of the Divines were hidden, more often than not; and so, more or less, it went with people.

On second thought, that might just be the answer to every question.

Hyeronimus Lex walked away in peace, with the first true smile in years basking on his lips. The Counts of Anvil slept in peace, too – that night, just like the rest of their nights.

For they had a single secret, which, to his dying day, their Captain never guessed.